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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

Other Sumy Oblast Cities:

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Finally, my food arrives, and it’s glorious. I dig in, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m happy again! But then, I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my meal. I mean, can’t a person eat in peace?

At least 7 killed in second deadly Russian attack on Ukraine’s Sumy in two days